25 May, 2008


Posted at 11:21 under MUSIC

now there's not much left to be done with the new CD "BALANS".

i still have some vocals and backing vocals to record, and there are also piano/keyboard parts to be done, but that's about it.

the plan is to mix the album at the end of june.

by that time i also hope to have had time to make remixes of a couple of the songs. i think we'll also make remixes of some songs from BLISSA NOVA.... but one thing at the time!

i'm also working with english lyrics for a couple of songs. this was more difficult than i thought. even though swedish and english are a bit similar, the syllable stress is different, so i have to re-arrange a lot of the sentences to get it right. and then it also needs to have some rhymes..... and rhythm..... and it has to sound nice and be easy to sing..... etc......

unfortunately, i'm currently incredibly restless. i think it's the nice weather that brings out the wolf in me.


18 May, 2008

Moon on the water 

Posted at 22:55 under THOUGHTS

as you may have seen in the RECORDING DOCUMENTARY, i have lately been reading a book with collected writings of japanese Zen Master DOGEN, written in the 13th century.

buddhism has always interested me very much, even long before i knew what it was. now, let me show you one of my favourite passages from the book, which is called "Moon in a Dewdrop":

enlightenment is like the moon reflected on the water. the moon does not get wet, nor is the water broken. although its light is wide and great, the moon is reflected even in a puddle an inch wide.

the whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in dewdrops on the grass, or even in one drop of water.

enlightenment does not divide you, just as the moon does not break the water. you cannot hinder enlightenment, just as a drop of water does not hinder the moon in the sky.

the depth of the drop is the height of the moon. each reflection, however long or short its duration, manifests the vastness of the dewdrop, and realizes the limitlessness of the moonlight in the sky.


the imagery of how the moon and the whole sky are reflected in one dewdrop, is to me stunning. it shows not only how things are connected, but also as the whole world can be, and is, reflected in one single drop of water. this is how the whole world functions. it's a nice evoking image!

an atom, invisible to the naked eye, looks exactly the same as our solar system, only it's millions of times smaller.

that is a miracle, don't you think?

every winter is followed by spring. spring changes slowly into summer. it's never the other way around. winter is never followed by autumn or summer. spring is never followed by winter.

technically, this is because of Earth orbiting the Sun. And the orbit is because of gravity.

but isn't it a miracle?

i'm not going to get deeper into this, but the idea that something LARGE can be reflected identically in something SMALL is inherent in everything.

and it's part of the miracle we call LIFE.


a close friend's grandmother passed away recently, and every time death approaches us and takes away someone we love, these kind of existential thoughts are asking to be thought.

i say that the purpose of DEATH is to remind us to LIVE.

let me try to explain.....

if everyone in every generation was born at the same day at the same year, and died at the same day at the same year, we would not be aware of death. we would not know about it until it struck us, with a surprising shock!

this would probably also make us incredibly selfish, un-caring, ignorant, and taking life, and the things we have, for granted.

still, some people live this way.

being reminded that everything passes, that nothing lasts, is an unescapable fact of life. it's not, as many people think, depressing or scaring.

fear is only a feeling that we use when we cannot love and trust properly. fear is a substitute, just like hate is a substitute for love. when we can't share the best thing, we take something else, regardless of how much it hurts us and the people around us.

death exists to remind us to live. to remind us to watch the swan in the pond, to see how the clouds change in the sky, to listen to the birds, to open our heart and make it playful, because only then you can understand. only when we stop stressing, pushing ourselves to the border of collapse, hunting quick pleasures to forget our pain inside, we can stop pretending that life should be a walk on rose petals. that's a stupid idea we've got from romanticism, something i'll talk about another time.....

sadness has to exist. pain has to exist. just as much as joy and happiness. but we have to understand that it's our attachment that makes us sad, and not another person or a thing we've actually lost.

death is a gateway. just like birth is a gateway. life is the walk between.

a walk which is sometimes on rose petals, but also sometimes on sharp, cutting stones, forcing us to leave heavy luggage along the way. it's pain that gives us the opportunity to get rid of the things we no longer need. the sharp stones cutting into the flesh of our feet only exist for this reason.

life goes on. time never stops (time as we know it). this walk is a long moment, seemingly never-ending, boundless, just like the seasons float into eachother, spring doesn't arrive on a fixed day every year!

we don't have to be afraid of death. winter always becomes spring always becomes summer always becomes autumn always becomes winter.

always becomes a new spring.



11 May, 2008

New versions 

Posted at 19:09 under MUSIC

any day now, i'm one year older, and the album is nearly finished, so it's kind of my present for myself! =)

i promised you these samples last week, but i didn't have the time to post them earlier. this time it's three songs that have been "updated", hope you'll like it:

(hey, it's gonna be ok)

i've re-recorded the acoustic guitars and the toy glockenspiel, and i've also been working a bit with the drum tracks... i'll record new vocals, and then it's pretty much done..... here's a new translation for the chorus:
- it's not easy to let go
- when your dreams are all you know
- i know it's hard, but hey!
- it's gonna be OK


with new guitars, both acoustic and electric. just missing new vocals! i love the atmosphere of this song.

(everything has its time)

have re-recorded the two electric guitars. just missing new vocals, AND backing vocals.

oh yeah, same old advisory:

* vocals and some instruments are only Early Production Recordings and MAY CHANGE!
* this is only HALF-finished!
* several instruments are still missing!
* this is UN-mixed!
* this is only for you to follow the progress of the creation of my new album!
* this does not represent the sound quality of the album!


08 May, 2008

Pay for music! 

Posted at 04:06 under MUSIC

would YOU stay at a job where someone takes 99% of your money, still asking you to work full-time?

making a CD takes months of hard work. it's like any other job.

and i'm like any other person, i need the money for my rent and the food on my table. it's really that simple - if i don't make any money, i will have to stop making music.

if you have downloaded my music without paying
if you're a kind person with lots of money
if you like my music and would like to support me

please make a DONATION here. it only takes 2 minutes.
or i may not be able to continue recording music.

thank you for your understanding!

the background to this donation page is that i've just received the royalty check from iTunes/other pay websites, and it's a shockingly low amount


the same day i also found my albums on a free [illegal] download site, and i discovered that the illegal downloads are 1000 times more popular. and this is only ONE website.

this means, that LESS than 1% of the people who download my music from the internet are paying. the rest is..... well, not paying.

and i can't afford to eat.

would you work for free?


or see it like this - taking music without paying is comparable with raping a woman in a dark park.

just because she walks alone through the park, and nobody would see you, it doesn't give you the right to rape her.

05 May, 2008

With a blue guitar 

Posted at 16:42 under MUSIC, THOUGHTS

am currently re-recording some guitars for the album, and i'll post some new samples during the week. i've been using the electric guitar a lot lately, as you've already heard, and as you will hear in the coming samples. playing electric now is like meeting an old friend from the past that suddenly turns up again, one crossroad later, both of you brimming with new experiences and insights, still being able to continue as if no time has passed.

i never believed in the beginning and end of things. it's all about continuation. everything is a continuation of something else.

maybe that's why i've forgiven my blue electric guitar and opened up my mind to my musical past and now let all my influences co-exist at the same time folk, chanson, blues, pop, jazz, reggae, samba. they are all like different-coloured bricks in my musical foundation, and it doesn't feel strange at all, this explosion of colours.

i've tried to find the origin of this quote, but everywhere i find it, i also find a different source. so i guess lots of people have said it

the mind is like an umbrella it only works when it's open

the present is the moment where your past still lingers and where your future is constantly being reborn. come dwell with me below this open umbrella!!!!

isn't it wonderful, the sound of spring rain?


03 May, 2008


Posted at 22:01 under THOUGHTS

please allow yourself to enter this four minute thought. it's written by THICH NHAT HANH from vietnam, and is called:



01 May, 2008

Nobody knows 

Posted at 13:40 under ART, MOVIES, JAPAN

yesterday i watched the japanese movie NOBODY KNOWS, directed by Hirokazu Kore-eda.

it's one of the ABSOLUTELY BEST MOVIES i've ever seen. ever.

it's incredibly strong and touching, inspired by a true story about a woman who abandons her four children in a tokyo apartment, to pursue her own "happiness" with a new man.

the movie follows the children, who have not been registered at birth and therefore do "not exist" and cannot leave the apartment. the oldest boy is left with the responsibility of the household and looking after his siblings. he's brilliantly played by Yuya Yagira, whose performance made him the youngest ever BEST ACTOR winner at the Cannes Film Festival.

this could have been such a sentimental, manipulative movie, if the story had ended up in the hands of a "western" director. and i read an american review that said this movie is boring. and it is in the hollywood sense: there is no obvious plot, no action or fast cuts, no hero. only the children trying to survive, day by day, week by week, month by month.

it's very realistic, often filmed from a documentary-like point-of-view, unsentimental but melancholic, sometimes painfully beautiful but never depressing. it's slow-paced, which to me is only emphasizing the situation of the children not being allowed to live normal children's lives. it's not a movie for restless people wanting 2 hours of braindead entertainment.

it's a movie that grasps your heart with the gentle fragility of a child's hand.

KORE-EDA is not looking for anyone to blame, and you could see the mother herself as a victim. the movie is more of an "attack" on a society where people don't want to know what's going on with their neighbours, than an "attack" on individuals.

as the japanese director said in an interview:

"I'm not interested in creating heroes, superheroes, or antiheroes. I simply want to look at people as they are."

here's the FRENCH movie trailer, because the english one has a horrible speaker-voice promising the "greatest adventure imaginable", which is very misleading and genuine bullshit. the french trailer has subtitles and no speaker-voice.

reviewers have called it "miraculously fresh", "absorbing, humane and deeply moving", "astonishing", "stunning" and "a delicate, casually heartbreaking film".

to quote a reviewer from IMDB, it shows the contrast between the courage, maturity and innocence of children, and the selfishness and childishness of adults.

please watch this movie. you will never forget it.


30 Apr, 2008

On the passing of time 

Posted at 13:55 under THOUGHTS

in the documentary i was talking briefly on how i believe that everything is connected. i've always believed that. and as i'm in an existential mood today, here are some thoughts about time.

we see time as linear, as a long endless line that started when we were born (or before, depending on our beliefs), and ending when we die, made up by hours tiled up beside eachother.

once i read a book, whose author and title are now faded from my memory, which claimed that our experiece of time as passing is something we have only created to easier be able to see the whole picture. (it's very existential, i know!!! but i warned you =)

it would be TOO DIFFICULT to understand your whole life at once, and therefore we have to divide it into days, into moments, to be able to see the whole picture.

it would be like watching an old painting that's 1000 meters wide and 400 meters tall. it's impossible to see it all at once. we have to start somewhere, and then take it from there, beholding one part at the time. moment by moment.

when we understand that time never passes (because it never arrives - and how can something pass when it never arrives?) we become aware that there is no difference between today and yesterday and tomorrow. there is no difference between today and a year ago. (even though we number the days and years to have some kind of order) they are only moments flowing into eachother.

the japanese zen philosopher DOGEN wrote this in the year of 1242:

"Because flowing is a quality of time, moments of past and present do not overlap or line up side by side"

this also means that what i experienced a year ago is not necessarily more distant than what i experienced this morning.

DOGEN gave time the function of being inseparable from existence, using the word TIME-BEING (UJI in japanese):

"Do not think that time merely flies away. Do not see flying away as the only function of time. If time merely flies away, you would be separated from time. The reason you do not clearly understand the time-being is that you think of time only as passing.
  In essence, all things in the entire world are linked with one another as moments.
You may suppose that time is only passing away, and not understand that time never arrives."

these moments, that we only see as passing, are our life. moment by moment. birdsong by birdsong. dish by dish. person by person. tropical rain by tropical rain.

we're trying every day to fill our life with things that will make us happy. this will never make us happy.

it's like your home suddenly wouldn't have any electricity and you're going away for the evening. you're running out of time and are desperately trying to find your keys so you can lock the door.
  but as there is no light, you can't see where you've put them.
  you know that your neighbour's electricity is working, but you wouldn't go looking in their apartment for your keys, only because they have lights, would you?

we will never find happiness outside of ourselves.

it's been waiting all the time for us to stop looking.

it's here and now.


26 Apr, 2008

After the rain 

Posted at 15:40 under THOUGHTS

just returned from jogging along the canal where i live, with a gorgeous feeling inside me. the air was warm, as before a thunderstorm, and rain clouds were gathering above the city.

first, a few drops, landing on my cheek. then slowly increasing.

and that LOVELY smell of spring in the air!!!!

when i'd returned home after something like 30 minutes, the sky opened. i sat down on the stairs outside my flat, enjoying the fresh, warm, summer rain, as stray rays of sun found the rooftops through sprinkled patches of blue sky.

have you ever watched raindrops hit the palm of your hand? landing, extracting as the tension of the drop is broken, and reaching out for the small wrinkles and grooves in the skin....

as if to water the seeds in your lifeline.


22 Apr, 2008

Piano and electric guitars 

Posted at 23:52 under MUSIC

as i am a man who keeps his word, here are the two songs i've been working with recently, recording piano and guitars (acoustic and electric), the vocals are new too, will probably re-do them again as my throat was hurting a bit this evening.

anyway, here they are:

(as if nothing happened)

added piano and electric guitar (here with a tremolo effect). i've also addded a snare drum, and changed the acoustic guitar from nylon-string to steel-string. maybe i'll record an electric slide guitar for the solo? ....i think that'd be gorgeous!

(how do you forget?)

it's a song about not wanting to forget, so all the instruments add to the mood, even the drum machine brings a certain loneliness with its monotonous blipping. the arrangement is not completely finished, but i'll give you quite a bit of the song anyway, because i really like it myself. the steel-string acoustic guitar is also new compared with the previous version. i love the electric slide guitar! and karin's trombone solo of course.....

now i'm so happy i had to re-think about these songs. the new arrangements go better with the over-all sound of the album. they are more "rock" or what you would call it. more blues? more latin? more whatever. more me!

hope you like it as much as i do!

oh...... =) - please note:

* vocals and some instruments are only Early Production Recordings and MAY CHANGE!
* this is only HALF-finished!
* several instruments are still missing!
* this is UN-mixed!
* this is only for you to follow the progress of the creation of my new album!
* this does not represent the sound quality of the album!


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